No matter what, I acctually had a good day on Sunday. I dont celebrate my birthday, but things are much better for me right now. I got a few really nice emails on my day and a great poem written by one of my diary readers, it's the best thing I have ever gotten on my birthday. It made me feel special. I got a Parker pen and some small gold hearts to put in the holes I have in my ears. My brother and two friends of mine will give me something when I get to see them. However, presents are not what matters to me. I had a visit from Oslo. My friend gretZen came to stay over in the weekend. It was so great. We met in a hospital in Oslo when we were little and we have had many times together there later on. I hadn't seen her in years now, but we have stayed in touch. You dont want to lose the kind of people you have shared something personal with. To me, gretZen is like those memories from the past; they have circulated in my mind, I have interpreted, tried to avoid them, smiled and felt sad about them. I have changed their meaning and course trough the years. I have lied and hidden them and they have come back to me when I thought I had put them away. gretZen makes me remember and I make her remember, what it was like for us. We didn't do much when she was here, we would mostly sit and chat about the old days until early grey morning. In a strange way I always tend to miss the times that I hated so much when I were growing up, when I am with gretZen. Later on I wish to write more about these things here and I also want to visit the hospital they have closed down one day with gretZen... I have a lot to say and a lot to learn and all in all; it's great to be here.
She left on Sunday and she left behind a good feeling and a sad one. She's the kind of person that takes away a special ambience when she leaves and you sit back with so much and yet so little. She have never been my best friend, as we have only spent certain times together in the hospital, but still she is the person I've felt closest to. She's the person I would call my best friend, if I would call anyone that... gretZen had a friend that felt embarrassed because you tend to put on more weight because of her medication, me and gretZen had a friend that seemed to feel the same way. It annoys me so much, because everyone should know a person like gretZen, it should almost be obligatory. She's the kind of person you would live in the moment with. I've always seen her as the posetive me, my little good side. She's younger and older than most, she reminds me of me, yet she's braver, sweeter, more honest and optimistic than what I am. You would feel the same if you knew her. I've always thought it's better to have a few good friends, than many that doesn't really know you.
Yes, things are better for me right now. My blood pressure had gotten normal the last time I checked, the doctor then took it over again two seconds later and it was high. I took a test were I measured it every hour in twenty-four hours and it showed that it went up and down a lot. Sometimes it was high and sometimes it were low, even though I had been very calm the whole time, trying not to do anything heavy or stressed. Some people have a blood pressure that works like that and they say it's normal. I will however take the test again in November to see how things are.
Late on Sunday I watched the "Lord Of The Rings - Fellowship Of The Ring" movie alone. It was a good way to end my birthday. I liked it, the actors fitted and the effects and enviroments were perfect. Most of all I were impressed with Gandalf and Gollum. Gollum were my favorite character in "The Hobbit", he were bad, he were sad and you had to feel a certain compassion for him. I didn't like that they had removed some characters and scenes however, I wished they had put in everything. The three hobbits didn't visit the farmer on their way out of Hobbiton and they left out the songs and the note poem thing that Gandalf wrote to Frodo and left him in Bree. The biggest part they left out of the film was the scene with Tom Bombadil and the party's adventure with Old Man Willow, from which Tom saved them. That chapter or two of the book involved traveling through a mystic wood with trees which moved and paths that changed. That scene took place just after they left the town of Bree. They also never told that Bill the pony, who they left behind just before going into the Mines of Moria, was given to them by Tom Bombadil. The way in which the hobbits got their swords in the movie was different from the book. In the book they acquire the swords after being captured by a Barrow-wight in the Barrow Downs. The last big thing that changed was when Frodo was told that Gollum was following them. During their travels in the book, different members in the fellowship thought they saw eyes behind them, or thought they heard muffled footsteps in their wake on many occasions, but they didn't think much of it. Frodo was not told that the eyes were those of Gollum from Gandalf in the Mines of Moria, but much later on, after Gandalf was gone. He did not truly know that it was Gollum until he saw him paddling along on a log behind them toward the end of the film, just after they left the elven city of Lothlorian. I'm a big fan of Tolkiens work, so of course I wouldn't be sadisfied unless Tolkien would do the movie himself. However, it was great and I were impressed, they had done a great job on it and I look forward to the two others.
I want to end this entry with my favorite quote from the Lord Of The Rings. It's taken from when Gandalf defended the little creepy mean character called Gollum. I also add the lyrics to my favorite song in the world of Tolkien. It's the one about the dwarfes, their Moria and their fall and it gives you that melancholic feeling the whole story represent. Also it gives you a reflection into the perspectives of Tolkien. Reading it I end up thinking about Jesus, and all these people that came along and created something and then when they died their creation died with them, in so many ways. I'm not a Christian in any way and maybe it's just me that tend to always have to interpret everything. It's no matter what a great poem (song) and I found it to be my favorite. Too bad they left them out of the movie.
Gandalf speaks to Frodo about Gollum in Moria: "Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many".
Written By Tolkien.
The world world was young, the mountains green,
No stain yet on the Moon was seen,
No words were laid on stream or stone,
When Durin woke and walked alone.
He named the nameless hills and dells;
He drank from yet untasted wells;
He stooped and looked in Mirrormere,
And saw a crown of stars appear,
As gems upon a silver thread,
Above the shadow of his head.
The world was fair, the mountains tall,
In Elder Days before the fall
Of mighty Kings in Nargothrond
And Gondolin, who now beyond
The Western Seas have passed away:
The world was fair in Durin's Day.
A king he was on carven throne
In many-pillared halls of stone
With golden roof and silver floor,
And runes of power upon the door.
The light of sun and star and moon
In shining lamps of crystal hewn
Undimmed by cloud or shade of night
There shown forever far and bright.
There hammer on the anvil smote,
There chisel clove, and graver wrote;
There forged was bladed and bound was hilt;
The delver mined the mason built.
There beryl, pearl, and opal pale
And metel wrought like fishes' mail,
Buckler and corslet, axe and sword,
And shining spears were laid in horde.
Unwearied then were Durin's folk;
Beneath the mountains music woke:
The harpers harped, the minstrels sang,
And at the gates the trumpets rang.
The world is grey, the mountains old,
The forge's fire is ashen-cold;
No harp is wrung, no hammer falls:
The darkness dwells in Durin's halls;
The shadow lies upon his tomb
In Moria, in Khazad-dûm.
But still the sunken stars appear
In dark and windless Mirrormere;
There lies his crown in water deep,
Till Durin wakes again from sleep.