This year I will spend Christmas with my family, as always. There will be my parents, my brother, his French girlfriend and my grandmother. The other old people in my family have passed away. We will put up a spruce tree (no plastic) on the twenty third of December. It will be decorated. One year, we bought this really nice looking spruce tree. It was the best. You know they can be hard to find, because the nice ones are usually sold pretty fast. People are crazy about nice spruce trees, around Christmas in this country. The nice tree was stolen when my parents left it on the top of the car, while they were in a supermarket. My dad (that stress about trying to save large and small amounts of money all the time) almost became completely crazy that Christmas and wanted to hunt the whole town for the spruce tree stealer. I said; -"Maybe they were poor?" My dad then looked at me like I were supposed to be out of my mind -"No one steals my spruce tree and gets away with it!" he strictly said, but they did get away with it. The next day my Dad went out and bought a new tree in the grey early morning, it was crooked, it was dead, it almost didn't look like a tree. My dad said; -"It's a tree", then he sat down to watch TV and forgot about the whole thing. My mom was mad about the tree he had bough for a long time. My dad is just not a person that is suitable for buying spruce trees.
Enough about trees. I will watch TV this Christmas, eat lots of food and candy like always. I'm a lucky girl that way. The Christmas dinner will be traditional Norwegian; we will have pork ribs, minced pork patty (is it called that in English?), Christmas sausage, potatoes, Brussels sprouts, gravy and cowberry jam. For dessert it will be small dry Christmas cookies, like the Almond Cookies, Cone Shaped Cookies, Pepper Cakes, Serina Cakes, Berlin Wreaths, Syrup Collars, Oat Flakes, Goro and cloudberry cream. Jello too I assume. I love mulberry cream. It's my favorite dessert, because it's not too sweet.
Now a few words about Christmas. I love Christmas. I always have. I like it because it's a family thing. I like it because it's a passionate time. It's the red days. I love it because it's the darkest time of the year, the coldest and most gloomiest tradition. Here in Norway, it gets quite dark just before Christmas, we have those black days that makes some foreigners shiver and wish they never moved here. Some of them leave like the summer birds, to come back when the darkness ends again. Of course, I dont understand them, on their level. I've always loved the dark times in this place. Yet Christmas to me, is the warmest and most magical thing.
I'm not really a religious person, so maybe I feel this way about Christmas because of my great childhood. No matter what, I do feel that the story of Jesus is very nice. I've always liked it, because I'm sensetive and I am easily touched by the kindness to certain Christians during the holidays. You see them on the streets, blocking the gift shoppers stressed life. A part of me like their way of annoying people and I always like to be reminded of that I should be less egoistic. I do, because I tend to worry too much about myself. You'd maybe think that I'm a person that hate the door sellers. I dont. I hate the phone sellers, those that call you and read from a manuscript and in the end tell you that they want you to buy something you dont really need. I like the religious door, street preachers and sellers. I like them at Christmas. They smile at you, they say they care and they want to save you, or someone else. I pity them, they seem so lost somehow, yet they have this naive childish belief that to me; in the end of my ignorance, often doesn't seem so strange after all. I think I would like to be a annoying uniformed Salvations Army member, that irritates the average grey person on town. I'm an Idealist. I like to be annoyed and annoy. In small doses though. I'd like to feel that I was in a war, fighting myself trough the enemy fields and the cold dark weather. Then to go home and sit in my warm couch and drink hot Christmas mulled wine. I would feel special. Hope that I had made some fellow humans feel bad about their egoism. Their little selfishness. The little evil they feel bad about underneath it all. Their small sins. I would like it, because I hate people, but also because I like them.
Those that truly hate the door sellers and the preaching folks, doesn't like people. I say I hate the door sellers, because I like people. I like to know them. Behind the anger, I really want them to hate me and like me at the same time, because I like them for reminding me of my anger. I like to fight with them. I like to make peace with them too. I must be just as irritating as them.
The only thing I can think of, that is bad about Christmas, is that it ends. The human relations is not so intimate anymore. People dont see eatch other the same way when it's not Christmas. The artistic decorations and the childish crafty ideas are goon. The Salvation Army rests. The holiday entertainment shows ends and people become more grey than ever again. It's not that I like these things so much, it's that they inspire me. I'm not one of the stressed holiday shoppers, I buy gifts, but I dont stress with it. I dont gorge on Christmas parties either. I like to watch everything, from a distance. Suck it all in. The noise, the colors, the lights, the smells and the people. It's good. It's bad. I'm romantic that way. I let it touch me...
They strave so much. People. You get to see their loneliness, their confusions and their immaturity a lot easier during Christmas. I always think to myself; -"Why do they strave so much?" "Where are they going?" "Do I want to go there too?". I feel more sorry for people than ever, during Christmas. In a strange way, I often feel more sorry for the stressed holiday shoppers than for the homeless. Can you understand that? Kindness is such a popular thing, it's such a commercialized matter and most people express the same things. If you have been there before, you know what it feels like. Most people know what Christmas means to most people, less know what it means to some people. I dont care about all the glitter, but I like to watch it. I hate that Coke TV commercial with the Coke Santa and the happy children. I dont like those images of starving children on TV during the holidays. It's the same Coke commercial every year, it's the same dying children. They play on peoples wish for happiness, they play on peoples littleness. We feel sad, we feel happy, all at the same time. Why should we be more happy during Christmas?, why should we be kinder? why should we be sadder? That is what I dislike about Christmas and that is also a part of what I like about Christmas. People become more aware. Some sing of a boy that believed, but wasn't believed in. Others donate money to the dying. And over and over again, the boy dies, while the dying are being born again. You might call people naive and stupid too, for their songs and their small donations, but ignorance and hopelessness is much more sad that this.
If the world would end tomorrow and we all knew it, what would people remember? We were kind during Christmas. We were on the moon. We were friends during the Olympics... We would then see our small ways, feel sad about it, decide that if we had a second chance we would do so much more, be so much more. But would we? Humans tend to idolize themselfs too easily. They tend to ask too much of themselfs and not appreciate the things that really are good about humanity. Because the Olympics friendship thing is a good thing, even though we use way too much money on celebrating it. Money we could have used more wisely. The moon trip was brave, even though that also seemed to be about competition and money. Some say that people are kind during Christmas because they are buying themselfs a ticket to heaven. I would say that the kindness during Christmas are special, even though we see less of it when the holidays are over. Special, because we are humans, selfish, materialistic and power loving. We can always say that we wish humanity was so much more, but I also like to be thankful for the things that are good.
It's a great thing to belive in humanity, but it's not good or fair to have too high hopes. You end up being disappointed. You end up feeling stupid about your own dreams. Then there is a hopelessness and you find that you just cant stop and look at people in a crowd. You dont know them. You feel different. You dont understand them... I have felt like that many times. Nowadays I dont ask too much of them. I dont, because I always just wanted to know people. Know what they are about. Understand them. Hope for them. I'm older now, so I dont feel I have to like them. I can go home when I'm tired of them. I can lock my door. I can blame them and my ignorance can knock me back again...
I dont like people, I like places. I dont like places, I like people. I dont want to belong, but I want to belong. It turns around in my head all the time. Hope is the sane feeling at the end of my emotions then. I hope for myself and at the same time for everyone else...
SANTA
SATAN
Some TV things I like about Christmas:
Christopher's Christmas Mission (Swedish title: Karl Bertil Jonssons Julafton) - A fantastic Swedish TV animation. It's written by the Swedish writer called Tage Danielsson (Swedish site). It has great music, wonderful music! I have tried to get a hold of the music from this animation film for a long time, but it's been quite difficult. It was composed by a Swedish Jazz musician called Gunnar Svensson, the album is called Head, Fingers And Heart. Now I just found out that it's possible to get it at CD On, so I ordered it for myself. Anyway. Everyone should watch this animation film, if they get the chance. It's not too childish for adults and I guess you have to have some maturity in you to enjoy this. I have watched this every year since I were little. They usually send it on Swedish television every Christmas (we are able to enjoy Swedish TV channels here in Norway), but it's also been translated into english I believe. Now later on, when I've gotten older, this animation film have probably been one of greatest highlight of Christmas Eve for me. Sometimes they have sent it in the middle of the Christmas dinner and I haven't been able to see the whole thing every year. I could say a million things about this animation, I've loved it since I were little, but I have been able to appreciate it more now later on. It's a modern "Christmas Robin Hood" kind of story, the story everyone should know about.
Thomas Di Leva reading Santa - I'm a big fan of the Swedish hippie musician called Thomas Di Leva. I have liked him since I were little, from the time when he had his own children TV shows. He used to read this Christmas story called "Santa" on TV every year, I dont think he does it anymore. I wish he still did it. It was lovely, he has this really special voice. I belive you can get a hold of his music any place in the world.
Nightmare Before Christmas - A nice animation film by Tim Burton. I'm not really a fan of animation, but I think that this is different from many other animations. The effects and the characters are really creative. It also has some funny songs and a cool story. It's about that spooky Halloween guy that wants to be Santa. It's sweet, it's dark in a childish way and I recommend it to everyone that can enjoy this type of humour.
Scrooged - This is probably my favorite American Christmas movie. Based on Charles Dickens novel "A Christmas Carol". There have been many versions of this. The film from 1988 are often sent on TV around Christmas in my part of the world. It's all about materialism that meets with humanity at the cross roads. It's Hollywood, glitter, fairies, ghosts, skyscrapers, stupid men in ties and the American Christmas spirit. I like it.
Tales Of Beatrice Potter - The musical ballet of the Beatrice Potter animals. You know those animals with human clothes, that sometimes do things that humans do. This visual version of her books is just fantastic. I have watched it every year, the day before Christmas when it's been on TV. For the first time, in my days, they didn't put it on last year and I didn't find it in the TV guide this year either. I am mad about it, because it's been a Christmas tradition for as long as I can remember. When my parents have goon shopping for the latest Christmas artifacts, I have been home to watch this. It's a little long, but it's great classical music, great costumes and great ballet. I'm not a big fan of ballet or musicals in general, but sometimes it can be quite marvellous when they manage to create their own environment.
Three Nuts For Cinderella - I like the Russian version. It's a movie based on the old fairytale. When I were little and saw this; I wished that I would grow up to be this version of Cinderella. She's smart and Independent, but still needs someone by her side. The prince isn't too stupid either. It's a love story about smart people, not like Romeo and Juliet that kills themselves. I have always disliked the Romeo and Juliet story, I feel they ask too much out of eatch other and life. Cinderella and her prince is worth the respect.