I like to joke with people, make up things, stories that have nothing to do with reality, silly lies. I think I have always been like this. I do it constantly sometimes with my parents, because if I forget to admit to tell them that it was just a joke, they will sooner or later figure it out by themselves. They are my parents after all. Some people have called me pokerface, because of my ability to stay serious when I'm telling a lie. They have to believe me, even if the story sounds insane and they are aware of my nasty habit.
I have pulled off some great and wonderful lies in my lifetime. Years ago, I told a patient in the hospital I used to visit a lot, that I had become addicted to a liquid childrens medication, that tastes like strawberry. It's supposed to help if the child pukes from different medications. I got this when I was little and if you didn't feel like puking, the sticky strawberry goo would certainly keep it coming. It had the opposite effect. I felt sorry for the kids I saw were given this Devil Spew as a evil gift, right after having been forced to take other nasty things. So I made up a story, made it grow as I mixed lies and truth into a seriously sad story, about the Devil Spew that ruined a child. The child was me of course. I dramatically ended the story while picking up a small pillcup, that I secretly filled with water and drank it with a grin on my face. I am an addict I said, I hate it, but my body craves it. It's torture.
In reality, the strawberry Devil Spew is a quite mild remedy and it's not even a medication. I dont think it's possible to become addicted to it, but my listeners would believe anything, serious people as they were. I claimed I had a sip of Devil Spew eight times a day, at least. It would weaken my senses and make me forget to brush my teeth, or not wipe myself after peeing. Almost like an alcoholic. School work would be impossibly for me to attend to at all (I was very lazy with things that wasn't funny to me, at that time, when I went to junior high. So the Devil Spew Addiction was a good excuse. It wasn't my fault after all. I had become addicted as a child and it was difficult to talk about it of course. People could put two and two together and find in themselves a sympathy). They would shake their heads, as they looked at me with a sad expression in their faces.
Of course I forgot to tell them that it was a joke.
Me and my good hospital friend Gretzen used to do things in and outside the hospital, that could easily make people believe that we both had weakened senses. We were childish. Or maybe it was the long years of medications and hospital that had made us crazy. One day I came out of the public toilet with toilet paper sticking out. Me and Gretzen had made bets. Who dared to enter the grocery shop down the street, with toilet paper sticking out of the trousers? We both dared, but I remember seing some of the other patients looks. And in that moment I suddenly remembered, that I had forgot to tell them I didn't suffer from a Devil Spew Addiction. So the toilet paper behaviour was no joke to them.
I never found a good moment, to tell them it was just a joke.
But I have always tested people. To see where their personal reality limit is. How far I can go with a joke. Some people have no limits at all. They are prone to believe anything. My dad is one of those. I can make him think there's a spaceship on the roof, if no one else interferes. My mother is a hard nut, she always add past experience with the present and I cant be as creative then. I rarely joke with my brother. He is a Psychologist (almost) and can see trough you. Besides he has a morality that doesn't always fit into my childish ways. He wants to nail me, like any other Psychologist would want to do.
So as you can guess. My best jokes have been put on my dad. One time I wrote a fake lotto coupon. He's crazy about lotto. I added the winning numbers and copied his writing. He always tried to explain to me, that he only played with specific winner numbers. Whatever that meant. So I thought he would notice by the number picks, that it was not his coupon. But when he sat down to check it, he would just start to mark the winning spots without any suspicion. A few seconds later he completely lost his mind. He would scream and yell. He would say things he later wouldn't admit having said. Some of the things he said had to do with quit working. Relax. My dad is very proud when it comes to his work, so if you would ask my dad; he never said that.
The most funny part about it is, that I had ticked off the multiply option on the coupon. It means that the winning amount would be multiplied. My dad always stated to everyone, that he never used that option, it was just not a good winning strategy. He would try to explain that he had figured out how you could win. Sooner or later you had to win a large number, if you went by his idea.
After having noticed the winning numbers on the fake winning coupon, trying to look smart, he pointed at the multiply option, with a spiritual sparkle in the eye. He had not just won a few millions, he had won lots of millions. A religious person would probably come up with such a face, if it was confronted with something divine. But my dad is not a religious man. He is a simple kind of guy. Easily fooled and easily tempted. He think with his stomach and heart. And he pouted like a sour little boy, who had the candy taken away from him, when I explained the joke. It also took awhile, until he believed he hadn't actually written the coupon himself.
Now, he never talks about his wonderful lotto winning strategy anymore.
