Christmas came and left, everything I wanted to write about it have already been written here. I hate the celebration of the New Year. Things doesn't just change just because it's a new year. No champagne for me. I'm not a party person and the fireworks doesn't turn me on either (they look good on TV though). I spent yesterday doing nothing good or bad. I had and I still have a headache. I wonder if the party people have a greater brain pain than me (?)...
I think I will remove my phone number on my contact page here. On Christmas eve this man called me. I didn't know him and he just wanted to talk. He found my number on my site and trough my messenger account. I have made it clear on my contact page, that I dont want people that dont know me, to use my number. I asked him to go away. It was in the middle of the night. You just dont call people in the middle of the night and I dont want to talk to people I dont know anything about, on the phone, in the middle of the night. Rude people get no respect from me.
A lot of people on these contact communicational sites are just stupid. Really. There are so many of these men, that seem to think that if you have a pretty face you should be a whore. A stupid whore. Ugly girls are mean and smart... They say I'm pretty, then they say I'm ugly.
I remember the first time a boy told me he thought I was pretty. I was fourteen and it meant a lot to me. It did, because I thought this was really important to the boys. I envied the popular girls at school for getting to know the opposite sex so easily. They seemed to know what to do. I wanted to know a guy too. I wanted to have a guy friend. I thought that prettiness was the ticket you had to have to get to know the male gender. So this comment to this boy mattered to me. I hoped I would get to know him, not because I liked him, but because I didn't know any boys.
I didn't get to know him, but I still remember his face and his voice. Many boys or men have said what he said to me after this. I cant remember them. It's just not interesting if a guy thinks I'm pretty or not pretty anymore. They dont know me, most of them dont want to know me. They just want to know themselves, they want to be reminded of what they like. If a guy that wants to know me thinks I'm pretty it's a whole other thing. It would mean a lot to me if a guy that knew me thought I was pretty. It would because today I feel you have to know a person to really think that it's pretty. I do, because I would want people to see all of me.
I feel that way about people.
Pretty to me is knowing a person.
How grey wouldn't the beautiful be?
if there was nothing behind it.
Kim is the little brother of a childhood girlfriend of mine. He likes to write strange things about me in his diary. I dont like all the cutting Kim, you should rather eat candy with me :)
