Finally I've managed to correct all the small errors on this godforsaken place, all the links and pages on here should work now. I used to have a really bad colour connection on my computer screen, so a lot of the hex colours I had put in my HTML were wrong, since I have a new computer screen, they are now updated. For the first time on a very long time everything works on my computer. I've had so many difficulties... I feel content now, I hope this year will bring me a lot of changes, I could sure really need it. I will be going away for some time now, to the hospital in Oslo, I don't know for how long I will be away, but hopefully some good things will come out of this. I don't look forward to it, but it's something I should have done for a long time now and finally I feel calm enough in myself to go sleep in a hospital again. Since I don't have a fatal condition, in a way, it's always something I have to choose for myself. I will maybe be away for up to a month, this will be a fact if I will have an surgical operation. If you like to contact me while I'm away, I will reach my email when I'll be back. I will say goodbye for now, I'll tell you all about my hospital visit when I get back on. So don't leave this place forever, I wont be away more than a month and that's maximum. Take care everyone and thank you all for reading me on here... I'll leave you with a poem that I wrote, something to ponder on...
A More Honest Goodbye
You sat empty once
alone and cried
Selfish tears
for lost times
that you still felt close...
You misunderstood
all my reasons
for leaving you behind
all the wonderful reasons
I had found to say goodbye...
You would have understood
If you had walked
these hospital halls
like me
The grey sun light
on all the whiteness
the anonymous silence
trough the slow minutes
I knew these things
like myself...
These walls of white innocence
brought me closer
to a melancholic blackness
that made me detach myself from you
and I often drifted away
from these drugs
and into a sober
and more colourful place
Far away from everywhere
You waited for me to come
I waited for you to let me go...
The distance went greater
trough the years
Sometimes there were a bitterness
between the friendly lines
I see you run too fast
trough life
you live too slow
You never seemed to enjoy
the things I envied
in your reality...
I was lulled to numbness
by their pills and scars of sympathy
You put me on an on going battle
with myself and your reality
-but I'm not a warrior!
In the end
I know all the things
you will miss in me
are not the things
you will find in these places
where you often visit me...
A more honest spring
will bloom again
and you will love me more
when I am gone...
